We had an interesting discussion on Call Kaye on BBC Scotland this morning.  One 'child care' expert spoke out against them;  her argument seemed to be based largely on the fact that she believes that parents  should think about child care in advance – even before they have children.  All very well, but who knows where careers are likely to lead or what working hours one may have to undertake in the future…?

I spoke about the fact that with a journalist son who has to travel abroad for up to 10 days at a time, combined with a daughter-in-law who's a paediatric nurse and works 12 hour shifts, normal childcare arrangements don't suit.  Without help from the family they'd find it very hard to manage.  A 12 hour nursing shift also involves travel which can lead to 14+ hour days – and even today there are very few before or after school projects or nurseries that could cope with those hours.

So a night nursery would probably suit our family down to the ground.  I confess my original reaction was one of horror!  The idea of children having to spend even more time away from home did not initially appeal.  But when I reflect on how much our grandsons have enjoyed their nursery, how loved and nurtured they feel, I realise that if we were to tell them that one day they could stay the night they'd probably bite our hands off. Obviously, theirs is a brilliant nursery with really great staff and I know they'd be really well looked after.

So, as usual, the issue isn't entirely black and white.  There's something to be said both for and against.  But – as many of the listeners to Call Kaye pointed out – it is importnat to resist judging those parents, perhaps particularly single parents, who might truly be able to benefit from such extended child care

It's good to see a couple of positive pieces about ageing in today's media.  Firstly, Fraser Nelson has written a thoughtful piece for the Telegraph on how much the 'older' generation is contributing to the workforce.  And on the BBC website another piece about how entering the 'fourth age' doesn't deter some people from tackling new challenges and experiences – even  sky-diving!

It's about the time the balance was redressed for far too often we read nothing but depressing articles about ageing focussing on lonliness and depression and implying that we are all going to end up shuffling around in our slippers with nothing better to do than watch daytime tv.

I personally don't know anyone who plans to end up like this, and from the evidence of all the over-60's I know most are far too busy to let ageing interfere with their lives.  Most of us are either still working or heavily involved in volunteering;  others are caring for even more elderly relatives or looking after their grandchildren on a regular basis.  In these ways people contribute daily to society, oil its wheels and help the younger generations get by.

This is the exact opposite of the way 'older' people are usually portrayed in the media – as a group of people who are leeches on society.  Indeed, we feel we've contributed all our lives, paid our taxes and done our extra bits for, and in, the community – and we're determined to carry on in that fashion.  We don't want people worrying about us, insisting that we plan to go into care homes, for we feel we'll carry on in the same independent way we've lived up to now.  OK so that may not always be possible but many of us are aware of this, even if we don't voice it, and make sure we put something by for any future illness that may strike us down.

Most of us have led responsible lives up to now and plan to keep it that way, so a little less patronising and complaining about us would go down well.

Most of us acknowledge that there's still far too much inequality and that we've been lucky to have had free university education and  see our homes increase in value.  But that was pure luck:  we didn't deliberately organise things so that today's young would suffer.  And many of us continue to do our bit by sharing our wisdom and experience with younger people.

I heard someone on the radio yesterday explaining that we needed to build more sheltered accommodation for older people to make the transition into  less independent lives gradually.   And that all sounds fine in principle.  But I don't know one 60-year-old who'd acknowledge that this is how they want to end up. 

A mixture of housing is much more likely to please us:  small communities of housing of different sizes and for different stages of our lives – with young single people living alongside families and the elderly would be a far more attractive idea.  Communal gardens that could be tended by those with time on their hands would make sense. Experienced gardeners could pass on their  wisdom and skills to the younger occupants and together they could all grow fruit and veg to supply the community.  This would bring people together in a natural, rather than a forced way, and undoubtedly lead to the 'elderly' feeling less isolated and lonely.  It woudln't be sheltered accommodation, it would be ordinary accommodation  in a mixed community.

If only our planners and governments and civil servants could think in this joined up way, I feel they'd get a lot of support from all of us who are slowly but surely ageing.  After all, we are all in this together.

One of the problems with any report on the future of the 'Elderly' in this country is that no one yet agrees on a definition for this group.  There are those of us in our mid-sixties – allegedly pensionable age – who will in no way accept having that label foisted on us.  And yet, I dare say, we all know people of the same age who seem to go into rapid decline after retirement and take on the mantel of 'old age' all too easily.

So how does anyone come up with a policy for the future to encompass us all – so many disparate personalities, so many differing states of health and agility, so many different attitudes to what consttutes appropriate behaviour for our age?

I, for one, plan never to retire and have spent the last decade trying hard to find employment that will suit me as I age.  And look at Mary Berry who, in her 70's, is thoroughly enjoying and embracing the late-flowering of her career.  Others, probably those who've had a much harder working life than I have,  seek to hang up their boots at the earliest opportunity and get on with making the most of their twilight years.  But then there are others who've not had the opportunities that I've had, who've just got on with life as best they can, unable to plan ahead much at all, and who find themselves entering an old age where they're dependent on others, the state, our benefits system simply to survive.

So I don't envy the policy makers who have to cope with all of us, particularly when we're all jumbled together as 'the elderly'.  It would help, I think, if they consulted us more often and more widely.  This latest House of Lords report featured in today's Guardian benefits from the fact that it has been drawn up by an 'elderly' and powerful cohort.  So let's hope they get heard by the younger generations who hold the reins today and that the report doesn't just get brushed under the carpet like so many other 'elderly' concerns.

To my great delight, I've just discovered that I can download books from my local library to read on an ipad or kindle or other device.  This came as such a surprise and shock that I could hardly believe it at first.  I'm a great fan of libraries, particularly for children as I can think of no better way to introduce small children to the joy of reading than letting them loose among shelves of books with the promise that they can take whatever they like home!  But I'm also a fan for myself – in that I like not having to buy a book every time I'm looking for a good read.  So I frequent our local library partly out of self-interest and partly in order to keep it going – for ours, like so many others, seems constantly under threat.

The only problem I have with our library is that it does seem to focus on 'light' reading and if I'm after something more heavy duty I can't always find it.   I know they can order special requests in for me, and I've occasionally done that, but it does take away the spontaneity.  And the trouble with browsing along the shelves in search of an author I recognise or admire, is that it can mean I ignore all the authors I've never heard of.  But it feels risky to select some unknown author, particularly if I don't like the look of the cover (!) and so I often leave the library bereft of books because nothing has directly appealed.

So imagine my delight and  thrill at being able to go online – in the comfort of my own home – and browse recent book reviews, or do what I did yesterday and look up the long and short lists of last year's Booker Prize to see what I've read and what I've missed.  Then I simply searched for one of those books in the online collection of the library and within minutes had it downloaded on to an ipad and started reading.

I can't help feeling this is a service that's far too good to be true!  I know I only get to keep the book for one or two or three weeks but that's fine by me and just the same as borrowing a book from the physical library.  But my choices of reading material seem to have been hugely enhanced and I'm feeling very grateful for that wonderful institution – the  Great British Lending Library.

I'm thrilled that our grandchildren are now of an age where we can introduce them to all kinds of new taste experiences – and find they enjoy them!

The most recent surprise was rabbit.  Lucas (5) was here last week when two recently-killed rabbits were delivered to our door.  My instinct was to shield him from the sight of these poor creatures, still looking life-like but with an obvious wound where they'd been shot.  But his father was here and knew he'd be interested – so he examined the bodies, stroked their fur and asked lots of questions such as where they'd come from, who and how they'd been killed  etc. etc.

The next morning Michael cooked one his favourite way – basically  rabbit stew with onions and carrots and I made a rival version in exactly the same way I make Coq au Vin.  Imagine our surprise when Lucas asked if he was having rabbit for lunch!

I had really thought the site of the dead creatures as they arrived would have put him off.  But no, it hadn't, so we held a special rabbit-tasting lunch and he declared Grandpa's rabbit the most tender while mine was the most delicious!

He and his brother came back at the weekend and for Sunday lunch I cooked roast duck.  There followed a lot of discussion about how this duck was not the same as the ducks in the river that they enjoy feeding, that it had been specially bred for eating etc. etc.  And then even more discussion about how Lucas didn't think it was a very nice idea to kill animals to eat them. 

Yet that didn't stop him tucking into both meals with gusto.  The boys love their meat, but they also love animals, so it'll be interesting as they grow, to see if their growing understanding of how meat gets onto our tables ever puts them off relishing eating it.

I saw a Dad in a park this weekend running behind his daughter with his hand on her bicycle saddle. The girl was pedalling away madly and happily but she was obviously not yet quite ready to go solo.   And suddenly the  memories of this back-breaking work flooded in and I was back there holding on to the bikes of my three children as they pedalled fuirously, begging me not to let go!  It was not only back-breaking work but it was time consuming too and all the time, hanging over anyone who tries to teach a child to ride, is that worrying dilemma about when or whether to let go!  How do we judge that they're ready?  And what if we let go too soon and the child loses balance and goes down?  Then it's our fault and they'll never trust us again.

So, all of this put me in mind of the two grandsons.  We gave the first one a balance bike when he was two.  This was far too early ( an all too typical grandparent indulgence!) but he did eventually get some fun out of it and would ride it to and from the local parks.  His younger brother was far more keen, he took to it like a duck to water and whizzed around the London streets so fast that people used to wonder where he'd come from!  They'd look around, concerned that he was a child out on his own, for I could never keep up with him.  Luckily, he was always well trained by his parents and stopped ahead of every junction.

Anyway, around his 3rd birthday the parents bought them both proper bikes.  And, lo and behold, without one backward glance they both sped off on these new bikes, pedalling happitly and staying upright and balanced as if by instinct.

So my conclusion is that balance bikes work.  they're expensive but I would certainly recommend hunting out a second-hand one if you know anyone who wants to avoid having to teach a child to ride

Rias – the insurance company for the over 50's – tell me that it's we grandparents who'll be enabling our offspring to go out and celebrate Valentine's Day by minding their children for them.  This doesn't surprise us, as we know just how much we contribute to society today.  We're always hearing – and always blogging (forgive me!) about how much we help out today's modern families where both parents have to work simply to get by.

But I guess I was surprised – and impressed by the figures! Rias's survey of 1200 grandparents suggests that we will save UK mums and dads 15. 3 million pounds in childcare costs today alone!  And that one million grandparents are likely to be stepping up to the plate to help out….that's 10% of all UK grandparents.

So let's give ourselves a huge pat on the back for our stirling work – not forgetting that this evening's child care probably consists of getting the little darlings into bed and sound asleep in their parents absence.  Not always the easiest task!

Peter Corfield, Managing Director at RIAS, comments: “Grandparents are often the unsung heroes in families’ lives and their commitments this Valentine’s Day proves it more than ever! With today’s parents struggling against rising childcare costs and cuts to Child Benefit for some families, it’s nice to know that they can still rely on their mums and dads to look after their grandchildren so they can enjoy a well-deserved night out.'

We agree 100% – of course – but we wouldn't want him -  or anyone -  to forget that we take on these tasks not just out of a sense of duty but also because we care.  Time spent with our grandchildren is precious and we value these moments probably just as much as the parents value time to themselves.

I know it's been said many times, and I hesitate to say it again, but now that we're all reeling from revelations about the amount of horse meat in so-called beef dishes, seems an appropriate time to remind ourselves of Michael Pollan's simple message about food and diet. 

In his books, including Food Rules; An Eater's Manual, he advises:  Eat Food.  Not too much.  Mostly plants.  And, perhaps more importantly, 'Nothing your grandmother wouldn't recognise as food'.

And it makes so much sense doesn't it, for our grandmothers wouldn't recognise a ready-meal if you put it in front of them.  My grandmother probably never even saw a TV dinner – but at least back when those were invented they did come in a recognisable form – with meat, gravy and two veg.

Nowadays you can buy anything read-made and she would be horrified.  I've been inspired to write about this today not so much because of the horse-meat scandal but because of the pancake mixes I saw piled high in my local supermarket.

It made me wonder what's become of the world if we need to resort to a 'mix' for something as simple as pancakes.  It doesn't take long to mix up a pancake batter and most of us, surely, have milk, eggs and flour at home?  When I first saw the mixes, I was horrified but then I quickly thought of all the busy working Mums and Dads out there who don't have time to cook from scratch. And I decided to be charitable.

I realised that my grandmother never did a day of paid work in her life, so she had the time to make everything herself.  But then she didn't have any household aids either:  no mixers, blenders, washing machines or even a fridge.  Her house-keeping took up all of her time.  And yet she always had time to bake, bottle and prepare two meals a day.

And I've come round now to feeling if she could make pancakes from scratch – whisking with a fork in a big enamel bowl, then we all should be able to.

And then we'll know what we're eating.

I'm one of those people who really needs my sleep….and lots of it!  I always thought that as you got older, your need for sleep would diminish.  I remember so many tales of 'older' people telling me they lay awake at night  restless, or got up to make a cup of tea, or read in bed, or arose at 5am simply because they were tired of lying around without sleep. 

So I always thought I too would be like this one day, but it's turned out quite different for me and whereas when younger I never counted my hours of sleep, nowadays I'm very conscious of the hours I'm getting and whether they're enough!

Lack of sleep literally leaves me feeling quite ill the next day, which is why, when I first baby-sat my eldest grandchild I used to put him to bed carefully following all his habitual routines in the hope that he'd give me a good night.  And mostly he did.  He certainly loved his cot/bed and it was never difficult to persuade him into it.  But there were a few occasions when he'd wake up in the middle of the night and seemed unable to go back to sleep.  I would try every trick I knew from stroking to lullabies, even to taking him into bed with me, but nothing really seemed to have an effect.  It was as if he needed to be awake and would therefore stay awake until his need passed.  Those were exhausting occasions for me, and I'm happy to report they've mostly passed now although there was an occasion just a few weeks ago when he had me up at 3am – and even though he's now a reasonable, rational 5 year old, I could see that he couldn't be reasoned with.  He was wide awake and that was that.

I blogged then about how he asked me in the early hours:  'Do you think you and me will have enough energy for tomorrow?' – which made me laugh at the time and still does although if I think myself back into how I felt just then it was pretty rotten!

But I'm lucky because the grandchildren come and go and I can always catch up on sleep once they're gone.  Pity those poor grandparents who are forced to bring up their grandchildren and can't ever make up that lost time.  I really don't know how they get through.

If you fit into that category, we'd like to hear from you.  A TV programme is looking for parents and grandparents who are currently having difficulty putting their little ones to bed, getting them to sleep, or having disrupted nights.

So get in touch – and we'll pass your details on to them.  Maybe one of their sleep experts will have just the solutions you need!  Fingers crossed.

What do we think about GPs prescribing books?  A good idea?  Or patronising in the extreme?  Personally, I have the feeling that those of us who enjoy reading will have read most of these books anyway, or if we haven't will be getting along fine with our own line of reading.  And those who are suffering from some mild form of mental health problem would probably be far better helped with good active listening from their GPs rather than being fobbed off with books to read.

We've all been in a situation where the doctor shuffles papers while we're talking, glances at the computer, takes a brief note and then hustles us out of the consulting room.  I realise their time is limited and that we're only supposed to have a brief consultation.  But I believe that the ten minutes could be so much better spent if they were trained in good, active listening, alert to what is not being said as well as what is, on the look-out for signs from body-language and choice of actual words – and thus more able to get to the heart of the problem rather than scribbling out a prescription and hoping we'll go away and the problem will disappear.

So I'd like to reverse this process and prescribe some reading on good communication skills to doctors – rather than have them telling me what to read!